I always said I’d be happier alone. I’d have my work, my friends… but someone in your life all the time? – More trouble than it’s worth. Apparently, I got over it…

There’s a reason I said I’d be happy alone. It wasn’t because I thought I’d be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it.

It’s easier to be alone, because what if you learn that you need love and then you don’t have it. What if you like it, and lean on it? What if you shape your life around it and then it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain?

Losing love is like organ damage. It’s like dying. The only difference is death ends.

This – it could go on forever.

..... Grey’s Anatomy (Season 7 Finale)

♥ ♥ ♥

I see the colours in your face like the paintings that you hang
But only you can read your mind
You don’t believe me when I say that your smile makes my day
A little better every time

And I just don’t know what else to do
I can’t think of anything but you

I thought I had you figured out, well I should’ve shut my mouth
Because now you’ve turned and walked away
I know I promised you a song, and I know it’s been real long
So here’s the heartbreak that you need

And I just don’t know what else to do
I can’t think of anything but you, but you

There’s a cold blooded wave running through your veins
Straight into your heart
But there’s nothing left to say, oh no, it’s much too late
Because you took it all, you took it all away

And I just don’t know what else to do
I can’t think of anything but you
I wish that I knew it wasn’t true
I can’t think of anything but you
Oh, anything but you

Because no matter what the world says, I want to still believe in fairytales and happily ever afters.

Its been quite a filled month. been away for quite a bit- perth, beijing, macau, msia and soon bintan. Sometimes it feels like I'm just floating by the days and weeks, and it scares me that the future’s coming fast and my dreams aren’t getting any nearer to me. Sometimes I think that it would be easier if i just take a gap year and travel. Sometimes I feel like slapping myself because I am so unsure of what I want to do in the future. Sometimes i wish that you can be here so i dont have to go through life's major milestones and make decisions alone.

I want to run off to live in an island where its perpetually sunny and the sky and sea is always a brilliant blue. I'll be content, I promise :)